*Taking breath… hold it… release…
You know, there are things that never changes in life. But there are also things we can change, and that’s what I want to do right now. Something that will change my entire life in the future, allright.. I have already do something stupid in my past, no, I have do many things stupid, and so you can call me an idiot now, cause I do it over… and over again, the same things, the same fault.
Well… this is not me. I usually always be proud of myself, not because I want to show off or something, but because I get that one called confident. Lately I keep thinking over and over again about the future… I just guess what kind of future that I can reach if I keep this habbit, …you know, sleep, eat, do something stupid all the time are not funny anymore, I must moving forward. Try study hard again like what I did when I was love that activity years ago, so I can make proud all the people around me, yeah… that feeling, I miss it…
That kind of feeling when you have done something that you can be proud of, something that unbelievable, something amazing that maybe not anyone can do it. It can be a little thing or big thing, …or even bigger thing. Yeah I know I can’t feel that feeling all the time, but this is has too long that I not feel that again.
So, I think something must change, there must be a sacrifice, more struggle and more pray. I don’t want this statement will just be a statement, I want this become true, so I can be proud again of myself. I always wanted to do something big for my parents too, althought they seems to be always happy even just because see me smile. So I want to make that smile on their face too, the smile that really come from the bottom of their heart, a sincere smile…
…Everybody change, they move in their own special way. I don’t want to be the one who stay, I want to running through all of them, moreover I want to fly over them.
I want to do something that maybe it seems impossible for everyone. Maybe it will take a long journey, but it will be longer if I just stay in my stupidity. I want to say a lot of thanks, a lot of them to God, to Allah SWT… thanks for every single thing that I can get until now, thanks for the happy life, thanks for every breath I take, every step I have done, moreover, thanks for Your kindness, which make me still allowed to live… thanks God… thank you so much, sorry for all the bad things I have done, I do apologize for that.
I hope You hear my prayer to reviving the dead hearts, warming the cold feeling, dig up the buried dreams, so I can take a step closer to my bright future, leaving this stupidity behind me, …far away behind. Amiin :).
p.s. for myself,
Every time when you think you want to do something stupid,
please read this note, think about this carefully, over and over again.
Cause this is not only for you, this is for everyone that you love, don’t make them disappointed.